6 Month Neurology Checkup

Hard to believe it has been six months since C first saw the neurologist, but it has!  

Since then she has had a CT scan that revealed a possible stroke either in utero or shortly after birth.

Since being presented with that information I have fought for PT and OT services for my sweet girl... Despite the neurologist saying that she was doing fine where she was and not to pursue it further.

But that neurologist just doesn't know me or my quietly determined girl very well.  : )

We have been in both PT and OT (eventhough we were told that she didn't need PT at first.  Mama kept asking/praying).

With all of the appointments we have, I am thankful C is so patient.  But after waiting an hour...

Or over an hour for the doctor...

The same old book gets a little boring...

And I was not going to let her look at Ripley's Believe it or Not...

So you get creative with your reading

And re reading

Of the one book that you do have!

You gotta think outside the box sometimes!

And jump in with both feet!

But before a somersault was attempted, the doctor finally came!

She was very impressed with C's progress, but told me not to expect her left hand to gain much more if any function.  I was disappointed to hear that (but my OT completely disagreed!; )) but I am not going to stop doing what we are doing.  We all see progress and my Lottie Pie is determined to keep on trying!

We are scheduling an EEG for Charlotte later this month to check on her after a possible seizure.   We are not too worried, but C has had a hard couple of months and we want to be sure we are doing all we can for her.  We would really appreciate your prayers.

If everything is normal, we will have one more six month check up then yearly after that if everything goes well.

Thanks for praying for our sweet girl - she's definitely worth all that and more, including super long wait times and numerous doctor appointments!

The Dog Days of Summer

Recently, my sweet, now old, dog has moved back into the house.  In the past year her health has declined rapidly.  Her arthritis is terrible, her eyes have begun to get cloudy and at one point she had stopped eating.  Anyone that has met Ella knows that she is a one of a kind, awesome little dog.  She and I did almost everything together in my single days.  She's beat out purebred /obedience club dogs in a contest, winning me a nice prize.  A dear friend's daughter's first word was "Ella".  She's protected me from creepers at my door, run stray cats out of the yard, killed snakes, helped me raise a few litters of kittens, alerted me to a robbery in progress and protected me from the perpetrator!  She's just wonderful.

Ella enjoyed her carefree life on the farm, but I know she really missed being in the house everyday.  Once we brought the girls home, I thought they'd never see the inside of the house again, as C's fear of dogs (animals in general) was/is so great.  C is a brave little girl, but dogs are something that I was beginning to think she'd never grow to tolerate, much less enjoy.  As much as I love animals, it broke my heart.  

Well, once I saw my dear, sweet dog suffering and I realized my time with her might be very limited, I bit the bullet, bathed her (with my animal loving FL's help) and moved her in.  I won't go into all of the details of C's reaction, but it was disheartening, as Ella is such a good and gentle dog.

I am so happy to say that a big change has come about in their relationship.   A BIG change in only a week and a half.

She started with just talking to Ella and showing her things from afar.

She wanted to be like FL, who has no respect for Ella's personal space no matter how many times I correct, demonstrate proper behavior and remind her.  FL just sticks her sweet face right in Ella's.  Ugh.  But Ella has always been this sweet.

The other day, the girls wanted to read/show books to me while I was preparing an activity that had to be done that day.  In desperation, I told them to pull up a cushion and read and show Ella.

This happened:

And later, this:

Yep, that's C's left hand working hard to pet Ella.  And, um, C petting Ella.  Voluntarily.

C wants to brush her, bring her everywhere with us, make sure she gets her medicine and pick out a different bandana for her to wear on her neck everyday.

It's given C some confidence.  And C is seeing the ways that Ella looks out for her and for our family.  And that Ella is good.

C has been really struggling with her story and all the hurt that surrounds it.  Experts suggested we stop telling her story when she asks and ask her to tell us.  She and I would do this often, and she would always stop at one point.  The point that she became a part of our family.  She couldn't talk about it or go any further.  She would just say, "I can't."   And I believe she is sincere.

I made her a special photo book that I thought would help her tell the story.  C was very excited and I made an exception, and told her the story using the pictures a few times.  She still couldn't tell me the story past the hard part.

And while she still hasn't gotten through the whole thing, she asked to tell the most understanding, nonjudgmental being I know:

And got a little further than she ever had before.

And with God bringing all our little lives together on this blessed farm both human and animal, I think I can finally see a purpose in all of it.

Thank you, God, for your creation, for your Ella.  You are the God that really sees.  And you see all of our hurts and you are slowly growing and healing us all and turning some of our greatest fears into our biggest blessings.

Praise God.

Six Month Check Up at the IAC

We recently traveled to the International Adoption Clinic to have the girls' six month post adoption check up.  The girls did great, charmed everyone as always!  I can't believe that we have been together for six months already, and yet it feels like we have been together so much longer!

We met with the IAC physician, occupational therapist and a family therapist.  Normally, they draw blood for all kinds of lab work to follow up, such as checking vitamin levels and rechecking for HIV.  Our girls are doing so well and look so great that they easily allowed us to bypass the traumatic process of drawing blood.  We were thankful!  They always have trouble getting blood from FL and oh, how they cry!  It breaks my heart and I hate to put them through it if it is not necessary, which it wasn't.

The girls have really progressed, especially FL.  They amazed everyone there!

We still have a very long way to go with attachment between our daughters and us.  That was hard to hear, but I have a renewed focus.  It will always be ongoing, as all relationships require nurturing, but the trauma of abandonment is big.  Bigger than I can explain in a blog post or a conversation with a friend.

But they are so worth it.

I didn't get much help in furthering exploration into C's left side weakness.  The OT just wants to "see how she does."  I want to look into having X-rays done to rule out spinal issues and possibly bracing one hand.  She compensates so well and she is so wonderful, but I want to help her reach her fullest potential possible at the earliest time possible.  She is frustrated with her left hand often and I don't think sewing belt loops to the inside of the left side of all of her clothing is going to make it better.

I'll stop there and just say that I want the very best for my children.  They've been through too much on their little lives already.  I just love them.  I want to fix what I can because there is so much that I can't fix.

On a lighter note, we went out for lunch and ice cream after the appointment.  And Mama's coffee was enough motivation for someone to finally drink from a straw for the first time!  : )

It is a joy to be a mom, especially a mom to my girls and an honor to advocate for their needs.  I'm forever in their corner and so thankful to be there for them.

CT Scan and Results for Charlotte

On Monday, we had C's big CT scan appointment.  She was a little nervous, but we were able to get her excited about being the only one to get her picture taken as well as eating special bread (her favorite) afterward.

C picked a friend to bring with her - to my surprise, it was my old doll, Lisa!  She picked it because it was mine when I was a little girl. : ). It made my heart happy to see my old friend loved by my own little girl.

The girls were well behaved.  It's nice to have people smiling at your children wherever you go.  : ). They are both little Sunshines!

And they are both so good with each other and for each other.

The gentleman who ran the CT machine LOVED Charlotte.  And thankfully, C was calm and didn't falter for a moment.  Thank you for praying for her.

The CT tech kept saying that she was so cute and sweet.  When he placed the little pillows around her head to steady it, she let out a clear, precious little, "Fank you!"  He melted then and there!  He was so enamored with her that he let her push the buttons to run the machine.   He also quickly scooped her up when she was done, which surprised C and I!   On a positive note, it was the first time she looked distressed about a stranger touching her and tried to come to me and get my attention.  She didn't want to be held by a stranger!  This is huge in the area of attachment - something we've really been working hard on!

I was so proud of her - no tears!   I promised her bread (her favorite treat) after the CT scan.  We stopped at a local coffee shop and the girls devoured a sausage and cheese biscuit and an orange and pecan scone.

They really, really wanted more...

And so did their mama...

C lobbied hard for the brightly colored sugar cookies.  FL wanted chocolate... Or everything, really.

But we just enjoyed the treats we had.

And I promised them new backpacks and a short visit with friends.  They were thrilled with their backpacks!  A yellow one for Flora Lin and a light pink one for Charlotte!

Later in the week, we recieved the results of the scan.

The spot affected in C's brain is on the right side and so very, very, very small that some might debate that it is even there!  This is fantastic news!

However, I feel like this puts us back at the beginning again.  The neurologist called it a malformation, not a stroke.  I spoke with the assistant, not the actual doctor, so it was a bit frustrating because she couldn't answer all of my questions.  We don't go back until October, but are advised to continue doing easy for her left side.   Maybe I shouldn't be pressing the issue so much, but the physical therapist felt we might want to see an orthopedic doctor about C's spine.

How hard should I push?  How much should I put my child through?  Am I doing too much?  Not enough?  Should I continue to push therapy?  Specialists?  Should I let it all go?   She functions well... But should I settle?   I am her advocate...  the only person in this world that is fighting for her.

I am so thankful so little of my daughter's brain is affected, but I have this feeling that there's more to this.  That feeling just won't go away.  So I'll pray and press on.  Joyfully, though.  It is a privilege to be able to fight for such precious little people.  

I'm so thankful for your support and prayers for my family and my children.  Keep them coming and we'll keep you posted.