Sunday, May 24, 2015

Back to Church and A Big First for Our Girls

We've been attending a small Bible Study and worship time on Sunday evenings with the girls for a while now.  It has been the perfect thing to segway into a full church service and just get us all out of the house!  Our wonderful friends have been leading the Bible study, but are taking a much needed break the next few weekends.   I've been feeling really disconnected from God lately, so it seemed the perfect time to try and get back to church.  
The church we have been visiting for a while has supported us in so many ways through all of the adoption.  It's been hard to stay away.  My main reservations for going back were my own personal brain fog (mostly lifted now), the environment being overly stimulating for one of my daughters (which would cause her to check out and then melt down), the girls being frightened by all of the well meaning attention from others (they're too cute - it's hard for anyone not to pick them up and squeeze them!) and the whole event turning into some sort of disaster because of trying to make two three year olds sit through an hour long service!
We felt this weekend would be good because the crowd would be light.  We also prepared the girls ahead of time by taking them by the church to see the outside and talking about what we would do when we went.  Sam called the pastor a few days before and explained how frightening touch from strangers and crowding can be for the girls.  The pastor happily agreed to make an announcement to the church at the beginning of the service and we arrived a few minutes after, slipping in the side door.
We packed C and FLs backpacks with a Bible storybook, a toy to fidget with, their dollies and a few quiet/busy toys.  Sam and I planned to keep them with us the entire time, sit in the back pew by the door and roll with whatever punches may come!  
And the girls?



They did fantastic!  Sam and I were so proud!  They even agreed to go up and sit for The Children's Moment in my lap!   Everyone in the church was kind and respectful  of their space.   We were excited for them to finally meet the girls and they were excited to meet them!  We are even looking forward to attending next week!  The girls were most excited about hearing that a new, awesome playground will be put in this week.  When we took them by yesterday, the playground was in too poor of shape for them to use it and they were very dissapointed.   They are so happy that it will be fixed!  I'm so happy that they did well and it was a positive experience for everyone.

Some things that we did ahead of time that might have helped us with success :
* talk, talk, talk in simple language about what will happen
* go by the church ahead of time
* attend a small gathering with music! singing and quiet time.  Our friends' Bible study was perfect for this!
* gently prepare the congregation (and remember that they haven't taken 18 hours of parenting classes, attended adoption seminars, read numerous books, blogs and websites about how children from hard places have some different needs from children who are not from hard places - it's difficult of anyone to fully understand something they have never personally experienced).
* set your child/children up for success.  We fed C and FL a snack right before so their tummies were full going in and their blood sugar wouldn't be low at the end.  We also brought a comfort item, a toy to fidget with if they needed it, a book and two different quiet toys to play with.  
* set your expectations low.  We planned to leave as soon as they needed to, even if it was two minutes after we arrived.  We planned on meltdowns, clingyness and multiple potty breaks.  This time, none of that happened at church.   Once we were home and they felt safe enough to express and feel emotion, we did see some of those feelings come out.
* create familiarity.  We regularly sing the Doxology (known as "Praise God" in our house) and the Gloria Patri (known as "Glory Be" to our family) in our home.   We also listen to lots and lots of instrumental music and pray together. We talk about Jesus and they know that the cross means Jesus.  They know what Bibles are and that they are Jesus Books.  We heard both songs today and I pointed out the instruments, Bible and crosses to my girls.
* teach your children to be still before you ever expect them to be still.  And if they simply aren't wired to be quiet and still be ok with how they were created.   It's ok to be wiggly.  : )  I can't take credit for their temperament or the first two and a half years of my daughters' upbringing, but because we have  two children the same age, we practice a lot of waiting and patience by default.   We also have a 30 minute drive any time we go to and from town, wait and are quiet at all of our many, many doctors appointments, they wait for everyone to be done at meals, wait for their turn with a toy, wait for Mama's attention/help, wait, wait, wait, wait.   It was one of the first words and signs both of our girls knew!  
* connect before you go.  Both Sam and I had a positive morning with both girls and spent the majority of our time with them this morning.  Their love tanks were full.  : )
* please don't stress.  My girls wanted to climb into the van all by themselves this morning.  They are short.  My van is not clean.  They were wearing white smocked dresses.   But my girls having a good experience and seeing church as a positive thing is much more important than a smudge on an heirloom dress.  I let them climb in.  Dresses don't have a memory or feelings.  My daughters do.  
 We were running behind, but fussing at my family would not get us their any earlier.  It's better to arrive calm, connected and late than on time, flustered and sorry you ever came.  I hope I can always keep a good, peaceful attitude!  It certainly helped!
* cocoon for a long time and keep affection and care limited to mom and dad.  My girls' schedule is predictable and I always tell them of any changes.  Their world is fairly small, though at six months home we are starting to expand it more and more.  "Hugs, kisses and I Love Yous are for Mama, Papa, Charlotte and Flora Lin" is a regular saying in our home.  Even now, they don't trust us 100% and aren't sure of the proper boundaries of affection.   I have one that would still hug and kiss a stranger at this point, or walk off holding hands with one without a peep.
* know your child's subtle signs of stress.  I saw this in both girls today.  They were well behaved and cute, but they were insecure and a little scared.  I could tell with one by how she did/ didn't make eye contact with me when I spoke.  I could tell with the other by how overly affectionate she was with me, yet unable to focus or listen to my words.  I also know what the signs of the next level of stress are and was ready to leave quickly if I saw them surface.
* every family is different.  What works for us may not work at all for you and your family and that's ok!
* Know your child's limits.  Respect your child's limits.
* be there for them 110%.


Things that would have made it even better:
* actually go inside the church when no one else is there and let the children look around freely
* have a few people from your church over to your home more than once to hang out with your family.  Make sure these are people you can count on to respect how a child from a hard place is parented differently.  When you attend church, point out these familiar faces to your child.
* attend a choir practice, etc. so that your child can hear the songs and different instruments used beforehand.
* write a short letter to your church explaining the boundaries you have lovingly set and a brief explanation why.  Print up small inserts to be put in the bulletin (May not work if you attend a large church).
* I know there's many other things we could've done, but I can't think of them now! : )



As you can see, the girls were so inspired by the service that Flora Lin is trying to hide God's word in her heart and Charlotte is studying for her M Div!

I'm so happy we can start the girls on a course to enjoying and being loved by this church!  We are so thankful!  Praise God!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Cousins and Candy

Growing up, my cousins were some of my first and best friends.  I'm so thankful that my daughters have a cousin so close in age!  In fact, Charlotte and Macy are only six days apart!
We took a short trip to see Sam's family this weekend, and the girls got to spend time with their cousin...  And eat an Adams Half Day Sucker together!


Until we let them each pick one, that's all they really talked about (that and trying to play a mini accordion - yep, give them a sucker, quick!). 


Everyone shared, no one cried and they all got along really well!  Pretty good for three three year olds!


Of course, they have a lot in common: being girls, being three, cousins, enjoying wagon rides, they like baby dolls, stuffed animals, eating suckers and playing loud musical instruments...


But what they have most in common is being very CUTE! : ) And all together?  It's almost too much to handle!

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Things She Says

This is a small collection of some of the cute and funny things the girls have said and done recently.  I want to write them down somewhere so I don't ever forget!  Enjoy!

I was putting on my flip flops the other day.  Charlotte noticed, "Mama wearing flip clops!"

A while back, I was walking across the back patio and tripped over something.  C warned me calmly, "Kufful, Mama."

I asked Charlotte to bring me the towel from the kitchen.  "Here chicken towel, Mama!"

I made the pumpkin muffins last weekend and gave the girls each one for snack.  Charlotte really likes bread of any kind and was so excited she mixed up the words pumpkin and muffin, "eating munkin fo' see-nack!  So fun!"

On Tuesdays we go to speech therapy, library, the grocery store and have lunch with Sam in town.  The girls always look forward to it.  C was reciting our stops for the day, "Thay-pee, ly-bee-EE, go-shee  sto, DEN munch wif Papa!"

Both girls have been practicing counting to twenty, which they do well.  FLs counting is distinguishable only to her family (though spot on), but C is so serious about her counting that it makes her pronunciations even cuter!  "Wwwwon, tooooo, treeee, fo, fiiiii, sick, sehben, ey, niiiii, ten, lehben, twellll, fo'teeee, fo'teeee, fih teeee, sick teeee, sehbenteee, eyteeee, nyhteee, tenneeeeee!!!"  I think "sehben" will always be my favorite number!  How cute is that?!

We were driving past a construction site with an enormous hill of dirt at least one story high.  Charlotte cried out, "Mama, Mama!  BIIIIIIIIIIIG ant pile!"


Sam and I had fed the girls first and planned to enjoy a nice dinner at the table while the girls played nearby.  They tend to call for me every ten seconds, so I tried to explain to them that I needed to eat and they didn't need to interrupt.

M: Charlotte and Flora Lin, Mama and Papa are going to eat together and talk.  You need to be quiet...  If you say, "Hey, Mama!" I might not talk back.    Oh, but you can talk to each other!

C: (without skipping a beat, waving at FL) Hey, Fo'Yin!

FL: (waving back) Hey, Hawyotte!


The picture above is apparently what I look like while talking on the phone. : )

In the car recently:
M:  Ok, now we are getting on the interstate.
C: We on da inna-steak! 
(Which is funny because that is exactly what I called it at her age!) 

Once at the zoo, I let FL chase the roaming peacock and try to touch it.  She was DETERMINED to do it the next time we went.  They were cutting limbs at the zoo that day and FL chased it into the big pile.  Instead of stopping she just went barreling through this massive pile of limbs to try and get to the peacock!  I had to stop her!

On another zoo trip, the girls were going over the animals that they wanted to visit.  They both kept saying something that sounded like "tiger horse" or "horse tiger" but I was certain I just wasn't understanding their way of pronouncing things.
C and FL: Haws tyah!
M: Tiger?  We just saw the tiger, sweet girls.
C: Haws tyah!
M:  Horse?  Honey, they don't have a horse at the zoo.
C: Haws tyah!
M:  Are you saying horse tiger?!
C And FL: (nodding)
M: Silly girls!  There's not a horse tiger at the zoo! (we all laugh and laugh together).
C: Haws tyah, haws tyah, haws tyah! (Horse tiger)
M: Ohhhhhhhhh!!! Do you mean zebra?!
C and FL: (nodding vigorously)
M:  You're so right!   There is a horse tiger at the zoo!
C:  Silly Mama!  HAWS TYAH EEBAH!!!!!! (We all laugh even more!)


In the car, about a week ago:
C: Mama, ebah, ebah, ebah, ebah an EBAH!
M: Are you saying, I'm your mama for ever and ever and ever and ever? (we talk about this often, but she never really seems to take comfort in or respond to it)
C: YES!
M:  That's right!  I'm your mama forever.  No bye-bye.  And Papa, too.
C: Papa ebah, ebah, ebah!
M:  Yes, and Flora Lin is your sister for ever and ever, too.  I am Flora Lin's Mama forever and ever, too.  We are family forever.
C:  F'Yin ebah, ebah.  No bye-bye?
M: Mama, Papa, Flora Lin and Charlotte are family forever and ever.  No bye-bye.
C: (laughing) Shawyotte happy!
M:  I'm so glad!!!
C: Fam-yee fo'ebah!  Mama, Papa, Shawyotte, F'Yin!  Mo' fam-yee, peas!


Oh, they are precious!!!

Please don't think I've intentionally left out Flora Lin by not including many of the things she says.  She is funny and cute all day long, just at a different place with verbal language.  If I wrote down every funny thing she did, I wouldn't have time to do anything else!!! : ). And you wouldn't have time to read it all!

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mothers Day / Week 2015



Mothers' Day Week got off to a great start!   My goal this week was to share some of my favorite things with my daughters.   The only way to make your favorite things better is to do them with your favorite people!
First up, horseback riding with my beloved Kahlo:


We all enjoyed it!


On Monday, I took the girls to have coffee with me (hot chocolate for them!) since I have it every morning and they always comment on it.


They're just so cute...


We had a good time,


And they so enjoyed the "coffee"!


I enjoyed it, too, though it ended up all over their dresses, kitties and my phone!


It was worth it to see them happy!


After that, FL got her cast off!!!!  Hooray!


So we went shopping at an art and crafts store, another favorite thing of mine.


Later in the week, we headed to get some flowers for the garden: one for me and one for each of the girls' birthmothers.  We also picked up some paint for a weekend project.  Two more favorite things!


We packed it all into the van - it was like a little traveling garden!


Then we were off to the zoo to look at the animals with our friends and spend time together.


We rode the zoo train together, which is really one of the girls' favorite things, but I do love making them smile!


We met up with our friends and had a great time together.   It was a full and fantastic day!
Later in the week, we met MeMe and Uncle Jon for dinner.


Once we were done eating, we sat on the front porch so the adults could visit and the little people could be cute!


C and FL played forever on the wheelchair ramp!


Don't you love those ruffle pants?!  And the little elf that wears them!


When the girls were thinking it might be a good idea to lay down and roll down the ramp, I decided a change of scenery would be a good idea.  We went to look at/crawl on/ bang rocks on the old water tower nearby.


They loved it!


And then they got silly together, which I love!


I mean, you have to do something to entertain yourself when your mom takes SO MANY pictures of you!


They were cracking me up!


They really enjoy each other most of the time - and that is such a gift to me!


So silly!  We had a nice time playing and visiting.

We also made some Mothers Day crafts, including picture frames and stoping stones.  The girls enjoy any kind of art activity, much like their mom!


I wanted an imprint of their sweet little hands in the stones.  They're growing so fast - I have to capture what I can!


I hope to be able to make a set each year as they grow up.


They liked putting their hands in, but they really liked decorating with the glass.


They were so careful and thoughtful about the placement of each piece.


It was fun to do together!


I think they turned out so beautifully!


My parents also came over for dinner on Mothers Day but I didn't have it together enough to get a picture!  Next time!!!!  Forgive me!

Gardening is something that the girls and I like to do together, so we planted our roses and other flowers from earlier in the week. 


My super cute, determined little one and my super cute observant one!


C and FL each got to "help" dig the hole and decide on the placement of their rose bush.


They helped fill the hole with dirt and water the flowers.


They were precious.  C and FL are always up for going outside and playing in the dirt and sunshine!


It was an honor to plant these rose bushes in honor of their birth mothers.  I know they would be so proud of them.


They also planted one for me!


Super, super sweet daughters!  I am an abundantly blessed mom!


It was a wonderful Mothers Day and week!

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Friends and Fun

The girls and I do very, very little with others outside of our small family of four.  When we take them to social gatherings/events where we visit with other people they do so well...  But the day(s) after can be so hard.  It is so difficult (impossible!) to explain it to others in a way that makes it understandable and respects the privacy of our girls and our family.   So, I usually don't take them anywhere except for places like the grocery, target, library and zoo where my attention won't be on any other person - just them.   Everyone is always so kind and accommodating when we do go places - it can be a struggle to keep declining invitations to things we enjoy and from people we love. It's hard and I miss having friends and being around our extended families.  The last thing we want to do is to hurt those that love and support us, but right now our daughters REALLY need us to put them first.

THANKFULLY I do have a friend locally who has "been there, done that" so I don't have to explain our boundaries with our children due to attachment or worry about offending her as I do my best to parent and love my girls.  I can even go to her for advice! : ).  Our families enjoy each other's company and understand all of the things that come with having a child through adoption that can't be put into words.  Plus, I can invite myself over to her house covered in sweat, someone else's boogers, no makeup, dirty hair and two precious girls that haven't had a nap and she's totally ok with that. : )

So, for all of our fantastic, supportive friends and family that feel shut out, left out or forgotten, please don't!  When you read this post, or any other, know that every outing with C and FL is carefully planned, especially when it involves people outside of myself and Sam.   Know that we can't wait for the day when our girls aren't affected by normal, everyday events.   And know that we can't wait for the day to have you join us and experience these two precious little people that have changed our world for the better!

We've been going to the zoo regularly for a while, but this trip was extra special because we had friends joining us!



Our girls are close in age, so that makes it super fun!  They also have a son who is so kind to the girls and a joy to be around.


Here's our zoo crew with the white tiger!


It is hard taking pictures of a child, let alone my two and our four! ; )


Love these three girls - looking forward to seeing their friendship grow over the years!


They couldn't be any cuter!

There's a new alligator exhibit at the zoo.  It's notng compared to the white alligators at the zoo/aquarium where I grew up, but it's fun!


They are not in the least bit afraid of sitting next to a gator!


Here's the zoo crew trying to pose like alligators!


They're so funny!


Of course, when you're three years old, no exotic or endangered animal compares to the zoo train ride!


That's what my girls really like about the zoo!  I have to confess, one time when we went, I told them the train wasn't working that day...  Thing # 264 that I said I'd previously said I'd never do as a parent!


And Thing # 265 that I never thought I would do as a parent was yell, "Go catch that peacock!" to both of my children as they chased after it...


If you know me at all you know that I love animals...


And I've always been bothered by parents who would just let their kids be unkind to an animal and not teach gentleness and respect...


And here I am, in a zoo full of special animals telling my three year olds to, "GET 'EM!!!!" over and over...


I really didn't think the peacock would let them get that close, and the zoo does let them run around wherever they want...


And I didn't think that my girls would really listen to me, or actually be brave enough to try...


But they both succeeded!


And I didn't think I'd holler, "GOOD JOB!!!" and tell the other child to keep trying...


And I really didn't think I'd tell her to do it again so I could get a picture...


And I really, really, really didn't think she'd grab it with two hands and almost yank it off of the fence...


Not that that happened, or anything...

Yep, I'm one of those parents now.

Needless to say, the peacock ranks pretty far up there with the train, according to the girls!