Still Waiting?

So, we are still waiting on Charlotte's RA (referral acceptance document) to come from Ch*na.  I did call our agency just to check on things and ask a few questions about travel and our timeline.   Obviously, the longer it takes the RA to come, the longer it will be until we travel.   Flora Lin's paperwork has been done and ready for over a month, so it's upsetting that she is having to wait longer and be without her family.   We *could*  go ahead and travel to get her, but that would mean me leaving her later (thus disrupting the attachment process greatly) ,  me travelling by myself the second time (NOT GOOD! We're such a great team!) and coming up with travel expenses for the second trip (we're talking well into the thousands here) .  So, we wait.   It can take anywhere from two to four months for an RA to come, so it's amazing that Flora Lin's came in two weeks.   We are at the two month mark with Charlotte's RA.  The earliest we would travel would be three months from now.  Every week that the RA doesn't come starts that three month travel time over again.   So, we are kind of living in some sort of adoption Groundhog Day... :)
I have really been struggling with the wait, as most of you know, over the past two weeks.   On top of that, I found out a typhoon hit Flora Lin's orphanage and surrounding area.  They are reportedly ok, but it hurts to know my little one, who's gone through too much alone already, went through a scary storm without a mama or papa to hug and kiss her and reassure her that everything will be ok. 
Thankfully, I'm coping with the waiting blues and frustration much better this week.   God's given me His peace and I have finally stopped trying to take control over something I can't understand (we'll see how long that lasts! :)). 
Someone once said something to the effect of, "Enjoy the season you are in- don't wish it away for the next. "  I feel like I'm at the point where I can do that right now.   Truthfully, I am choosing to have only good days, REALLY good days and GREAT days! :)  It's a choice, I am blessed to be at this point in the adoption process, I'm getting TWO precious girls (Lord willing) and I have such wonderful family and friends that make each day something special.  ;)  Stop laughing, y'all!  I'm going to ride this wave as far as it will take me!!!  
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.  ~ Hebrews 10:23
(Read verse 24, too, just because! It's a good one! )

Worth the Wait

A while back, I promised you for more information about our second daughter, Charlotte.  I plan on fulfilling that promise, but haven't received the official "OK, you can share it on social media" go ahead from our agency yet. : )
 Truthfully, we are kind of stuck in "wait mode" again.  AGAIN.  If you know anything about adoption, you know there's a mountain of paperwork and government hoops to jump through (most of it very necessary and in place to protect the child from more trauma).  We are waiting on a single piece of paper to come from China called Referral Acceptance, or RA.  To me, it basically says, "Do you want this child? Check yes or no."  And, yes, there's a little box to check for both of those options.
Flora Lin's RA came in record time and flew through the US checkpoints and is all ready to go.  Charlotte's is still somewhere in China.  It is taking much longer to come. Hopefully, it didn't fall behind someone's desk, accidentally get thrown away or chewed up in a postage machine...   These are the things that a waiting mama thinks about though, when she can't help it.   But these worries are beginning to consume my thoughts and grow into fear.  That's not OK.  Thankfully, I serve a living God who's in ALL of the details  and has seen this struggle.  God has been using this wait time to teach me about waiting with patience, trusting in Him to take care of His perfect plan and NOT WORRYING - SO HARD FOR ME!
This morning I was filled with worry and a need to control this situation.  I sat down to do my morning devotional.  My verse for today was from Psalm 62:5 NLT:

  Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.

All that I am.  

Wait quietly.  

Hope in Him. 

It's difficult, but it's true and I'm trying and failing and trying again.  All of me, quietly, hoping.

As a future adoptive mama, I know that this is the easy side of the journey.  The tough hasn't come yet. Now is the time to practice this quiet, waiting hope.  There will be set backs, unknown things that surface, developmental challenges, heartbreaking grieving and much more.  God is using this time to prepare this strong-willed, silent rebel to gently parent two precious children from hard places.  And though I want to charge into it with a battle-cry and a flaming torch, that's not what He's asking of me right now.  So, here I am, ceasing my struggle for control.  Learning to quiet my soul with His help as I stand before Him.  And I will wait and hope as long as it takes...  because Flora Lin and Charlotte are worth it...  because I love my God and I have hope!