More Puddle Jumping!

We've had our fair share of rain here.  I happen to really like a good mud puddle and playing in the ditches of rainy Louisiana was one of my favorite things to do as a child.  It has been fun, easy activity taking the girls outside to puddle jump.

Here we are with our boots "kissing" in a puddle:

I doubt I get the Mom Of The Year award for letting my girls play in the ditch near the road, but I forgot that was a "dangerous" thing.  Plus, we had lots of fun throwing stones into it and watching tadpoles!

We're talking a lot about big vs small these days and the girls liked finding BIIIIIIIIIIIIG stones and little stones.

"Mama! BIIIIIIIG stone!"

Nothing's beats a good puddle, though! : )

What do you do for rainy day fun?  We would really like to hear your suggestions!

Charlotte - The First Month Home

I wrote this close to the date of 12/20, the first month home.  I am just now getting around to posting this, even though we are getting close to the two month mark of being home.  

This is written for my daughter, Charlotte, on our family blog of memories.

Dear Charlotte,

   Where do I begin?!  You've been home one month now, and with us almost two.  I don't know that you've changed so much.  I think it is just that we now know you better and can better understand each other.

   You're a precious child.  I don't know how to tell you all the things I want to tell you about your first month home.  My heart is too full and there are SO many memories already.  So, I will be honest and say that this letter to you will be disorganized and it simply can't contain everything.  You'll never know fully all of the things in my head that I want to share with you, but I know there are things forgotten already, so before more escapes me, I'll write what I can.

  You're a very bright little girl.  From day one, you seemed able to pick up on what we were trying to tell you or ask you to do.  Your first english word was, "Hey!" and "Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O!" was very close behind.  Now you are speaking and signing so many words I can't keep up.  I was counting at one point, but it has to be over 100 by now!  My favorite words that you say are your sister's name, Flora Lin, because you pronounce it like, "Fo-ah YIN!" and the number seven, which you pronounce, "seh-ben" (so precious it gets me every time!)!  Every day there are new words that you learn.  Most recently was big and little (and you understand them, too and use them to refer to things now) and today you learned hiccup, which you pronounce "hap pup," which is also too cute to correct at this point!  Of course, I love that you call out, "mah-MAAAAA!" when you wake up or when you do something awesome you want me to see, or when you make a new discovery that you want to share with me.  It's all day every day, but I'll definitely take it, as you would only refer to me as "big sister" in mandarin in China.   

Your favorite song to sing is still "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," but you now sing it in broken english, where you sang it perfectly in Mandarin before.  It is both amazing and bittersweet to watch you learn a new language and slowly loose your old one.  When  you first joined our family, you would talk to yourself quietly in your native language while you played.  Now and then you would say your name, Xiao Ping, to yourself as you arranged your doll or toys.  I hear you whisper "Charlotte" and "alllll riiiight" (something I must say very often!) as you straighten Dolly's blanket or stack your little play papers together.  You are Charlotte Nicole Xiao Ping - as much as I want to see you learn new things and grow into our family, I don't want you to loose any of your old self.  You're beautiful.

 I so enjoy sharing new things with you and watching you try so hard to understand and put together our crazy language and try to figure out all of these new things and new people and new animals in our lives.  You do everything you can to figure out how to talk to us and it amazes me the words and phrases you are picking up and the words you are stringing together to form a little sentence.  You are resilient and you are determined to be cheerful and enjoy your life, that has thrown way, way too much at a little girl already.  You can count to ten in english (I'm certain you could in mandarin as well) and you help me count how many eggs the chickens have layed each day when we do farm chores together.  You enjoy watching the cows next door, especially the "bee-BEE cow" and the chickens are a close second, even though you used to scream like a banshee when I would bring one out for you to pet!  You like the cats, especially Henri (Hun-weeeee!!!!) because you have so much fun spotting him all around the farm and loudly calling for him.  You will pet Scout (SEE-gout) and delight in her antics.  Today you told me "Charlotte Horses" when I was reminding you that I was Charlotte's Mama and you were Mama's Charlotte.  I asked you if the cats were Charlotte's cats, and you shook your head no and repeated,"Charlotte Horses."  I'm glad you claim then and can't WAIT for you to ride them!  You are still fearful of the dogs, though you like to talk about Hershey and Ella and say their names so well.  The other day, Papa brought in the dog bowls for me to put medicine in.  When you saw them, you said, "Hersh-an-Ell-AH, hun-GWEE" (Hershey and Ella, Hungry), which showed me that you knew exactly what their bowls were and who they were for!

You do a very good job following your mama's type A instructions, as I believe you are a type A girl yourself, just like me!  Also like me, you like knowing that everything has a place and you prefer it to be very neat and tidy.  After I got you into your pajamas the other night, you leaned down as I was trying to brush your hair.  Though I asked you to stand up straight, you wouldn't, and I realized you were unfurling the corner of the bath mat so it would be perfectly straight!  Once you completed the task, you stood up and turned around and smiled, as if to say, "There!  Now I feel much better!"

As a rule follower, you feel very intimidated if you don't know exactly what I want or if the thing you are doing doesn't have clear instructions that are the same every time.  Puzzles can be challenging for you, though you are so smart.  You are not very confident doing them because there is no clear, orderly formula to complete every puzzle, each time.  Sweet Charlotte, I sympathize with you as I look for the rules, order and boundaries every day in life.  Not everything is black and white, and I sometimes struggle with that, and know that you will, too.  But please know that even though you may feel that the rules keep you safe, everthing in life does not fit neatly in a box.  Please know that the gray areas of life can be quite beautiful and freeing, too!

Last week, you finally completed a very troubling puzzle, putting each piece in the correct place by yourself - you were so happy I thought you would explode with your clapping and hoorays!!!  You even let me take several pictures of you to commemorate the moment!  For now, your confidence in yourself when doing puzzles has been restored and you look forward to them.  Remember that in life, you may not be confident in what you are doing, but that doesn't mean you CAN'T do it!  Like me, when the obstacle looks almost impossible, you decide it is better to not attempt than to attempt it and possibly  fail.  This has held me back from so many things in life, dear daughter.  Bringing you and your sister home was one of the first times I totally leaned on God, though the obstacle before me seemed impossible.  I am confident that you will learn to keep that fear of failure or making a mistake from holding you back from wonderful things in life!

Some of your favorite things are your Dolly that I made you (makes me SO happy!), your mama (yay!), books, sunglasses, pretty dresses and fancy clothes, jewelry, bows, helping out around the house, being held by your mama, being tickled, bath time, being out around people (you are definitely an extrovert, like your papa!), shoes and sometimes papa, as he can be SO funny!  You will eat most anything, though we were told you didn't like fruits and vegetables (60 % of our diet in this house!).  Your least favorite foods are hard to tell, because you will eat most anything!  You really, really like bread-type foods, crackers, sweet potatoes, potato salad, soups, rice, noodles, Chinese food (of course!), french fries, summer sausage, pepperoni, cookies (almost anything sweet) and things that are heavily seasoned!  From that list you would think I feed you nothing but junk, these are all things I RARELY feed you(other than sweet potatoes, soup and rice)!  You will eat any fruit or veggie that I give you, though you don't usually ask for them.

I've taken you out shopping with me a couple of times.  You most enjoy getting ready to go, because we pick out a fancy dress and you get to wear a necklace that has a locket on it with your iniitals.  You also get to come in my bathroom and sit on the counter and play with my makeup bag while I get ready.  You are neat and careful with almost everything you handle, so I really don't ever have to worry about you messing something up, like my makeup bag or a fancy necklace. 

You like to be clean and neat.  I am regularly summonded to "help" with your bow when it slips out of place or you get a speck of oatmeal on your finger.  You like everyone else to be neat and clean too.  One time, you sister was picking up dried grass clippings and sprinkling them into the air where they then landed on her jacket and stuck.  You marched over there to her like a little granny and started briskly brushing off the grass on her jacket with your little hands, continuing as she kept adding more!

Despite your neatness and compliant nature, you love to laugh and be silly!  You are a happy girl, and though sometimes overly dramatic, you bounce back to your sweet, sunny self very quickly!

You love to snuggle and sit in "mama's chair" with mama and just talk.  You are affectionate and quick to give a hug and a kiss (though this was NOT always so) and seem to thrive on physical touch.  Our first few days together you would only sit on the edge of my lap, but you let me rub your back and stroke your hair.  When you ask to sit in my lap, papa and I joke that I am your recharing station and your batteries are low on mama love.  It's true!   If something happens in our schedule and I am not able to hold you, carry you and sit with you like I normally would, you become quiet and distant.  I am always happy to give you love, though as I waited for you SO LONG and these years together will fly by, I know!

Charlotte Nicole, you have taken part of your mama's name and I see so much of myself in you and so much of your papa in you (that's why you and I get along so well - you are A LOT like your papa in your personality!).  Like me, you like to dress up a  little and go shopping, yet you enjoy time outside playing on the farm (I enjoy being outside so much!).  Our family would not be right without you.  I can't believe that we almost missed you.  Not because we didn't want YOU but because of the fears that were put into our heads by others (two is too many, you can't handle this, China will never give you two, she could have a syndrome {who doesn't?!}, etc.), because of lables like "Special Focus Child," "Small head circumference" and "Moderate to Severe Special Needs" because of a presence in this world that doesn't want beautiful things to come from ashes.  Charlotte, you are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made!  We fought hard for you - we fought social workers, doubt, negative comments from others, doctors who warned us that 'this would be hard' and ourselves, as your special need was not on our list of "things we feel like we can handle."  I remember looking at the need and thinking, "maybe, but it sounds like it would come with so many things we can't handle.  The chances of us being matched with a child with this are probably slim to none."  I never forgot that, though, and it tugged at my heart. I always felt God wanted us to parent a child with a heart condition and I was ready and open for that.  They day after we were matched with your sister I called the angency and told them I didn't care what the need was, please run any and all files past us FIRST.  Let US make that decision.  I didn't want to miss you - I KNEW you were there.  Once the possiblility of being able to look at your file came up, I didn't care about the obstacles (and there were so many), I fought in any way I could to know you.  You were ALWAYS wanted!  The day after you were found, your papa and I were shopping for presents for our future child (children).  I begged to buy TWO dresses!  "There's someone else out there!"  I told him.  You were always in my heart.

As much as you are my child, my daughter, MINE ALWAYS, I know that there is a part of you and your heart that doesn't belong to me.  And that's ok.  You can always keep those pieces of your heart for your birth family and your foster family.  They are part of you, too, always.  But, oh, that your papa and I get to be blessed enough to call you OURS!!!  We thank God for letting us be your parents more often than you'll ever know!

I could go on and on, Charlotte.  But I'll stop here before my mama heart spills over too much.  Know that without a doubt that you are wanted, loved, cherished and wonderful just the way you are!  We love you!

We had a song that was very significant to us while we were waiting to see whether or not Charlotte's file would be released, and wrestling with so many unknowns.  If you'd like to hear it, click on the link below and it will take you to a video.

http://youtu.be/ARIe3PUgu84

Flora Lin - The First Month Home

I wrote this close to the date of 12/20, the first month home.  I am just now getting around to posting this, even though we are getting close to the two month mark of being home.  

This is written for my daughter, Flora Lin, on our family blog of memories.

   

Dear Flora Lin,

   To tell you about this first month, I need to share a story of my own.

   I was riding a horse once that was a little cantankerous at times.  Before I could end our ride on a good note, he quickly reared up, which unseated me, and then bucked immediately!  I almost recovered my seat, but the buck took care of the rest of it, and I went sailing over his head.  As I was sailing over his head, seething that he "got me," I found that I STILL had the reins in my hands!!!  I was still in the game, hanging on!  I wasn't giving up this easy!  As I made impact with the ground, I was probably even smiling a little...  I still had the last word and I wasn't letting go!   : )  

  This story may be about me, but dear daughter, it describes a part of your personality, too!  Flora Lin, we are so alike, you could not be MORE my daughter if you had been born of my own body!  I had to tell this story becuase it reminds me so much of the fire I see in you!  Your life has put so many things in your path that would have ordinarily given evil the last word, but you are a fighter and determined to make it and make it with a smile on your face!  When I finally heard the Katy Perry song, "Roar" (it was no longer cool by the time I heard it, to be honest, and I am no Katy Perry fan), you were what I first thought of.  I am also probably the only person who cries happy tears when they hear that song!  You won't let the hard things pull you down.  Sure, they've hurt you and you have some walls up still, but your sweet and spicy personaility is showing out more and more every day!  When I first met you, you were pale, head covered in the worst cradle cap I had seen, with calloused hands and feet that no baby should have.  When I put my arms around you for the first time I felt such an awful rattle in your chest from an illness that the orphanage worker would never have mentioned to me had I not asked.  It was brushed off as "a little cough," and I almost came unglued right then and there when I was told that.  It was so hard to see such a beautiful little flower like you covered up with so much neglect.  

Someone at your orphanage loved you, that is certain.  You bear the signs of that.  No one loved YOU completely enough, though...  Sure, you needed lotion rubbed on your little body after each bath, someone to teach you to brush your teeth, medicine for your scalp and antibiotics for your illness, but we all need so much more than that to thrive.  Flora Lin, your Papa and I love you more than you will ever know.  We did everything we could to have you as our daughter, but even all of that love will not be enough.  I hope one day you will know God's love for you.  Right now, you sweetly sign "Jesus" with your baby soft hands that have been rubbed with lotion daily.  Even today, you wanted to look at the "Jesus Book," (that's how you sign it) instead of playing.  I hope your faith will continue to grow and that little hole that we all have will finally be filled with His love.

Your little body has changed so much.  You came to us in complete shock.  You were pale and unsteady and so slow to move or respond.  Your gaze stayed down and purple circles hung under your eyes.  Though you were not "skinny" you had so little muscle tone.  Your hair was dull and rough.  So rough and dry that it broke off when I brushed it.  Your head hung down no matter what you did.  Had it not been for your sister's presence and happy disposition, I am sure you would have been so terrified of us that you would have only screamed or slept.  

But sweetheart, that's NOT who you are!  It is not who you ever were!

Now the rattle in your chest is only a story I tell, your little hands and feet are soft and clean, your eyes are bright and clear and sparkling!  Your hair is beginning to soften and shine and hold a bow (which makes you SO happy!), your skin is the prettiest color and you can climb and run and jump and give your sister a good whack in the head with a toy when she bosses you! ; )  You help care for the farm every day, and though you get so mad at me for "encouraging" you to walk through tall grass, toddle over lumpy ground, carry a bitty bucket of horse feed and climb climb CLIMB steps here and there and everywhere, YOU CAN DO IT!  God knew what He was doing when He brought us together as mother and daughter as we are both made of FIRE and we each push the other to be better.  You have changed me as a person and a mom for the better.  I thank God for you and for that!

Speaking of change, I have seen so many examples of that over the past month.  You came to us only making little peeps and grunts, which we expected with an open palate.  You came to us only eating one bowl of congee and five bottles of formula a day.  You came to us only having lived your life in one building, a few rooms and a little outdoor play area.  

Flora Lin, you are singing and signing and speaking english!  Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, The Clean Up Song and Jingle Bells are your favorite songs to sing.  You are trying to learn Itsy Bitsy Spider and Jesus Loves Me right now.  At first, when we signed and asked you to sign, I think you thought we were just trying to make you dance the Macarena for food, and you'd do whatever, but now you UNDERSTAND and sign back unprompted!  Your first understood signs were "more," "eat" and "cat."  Your first words were "eat" and "cat" and "uh-oh!"  You are now wanting to talk instead of sign, though you sign, really, really well!  I originally wanted to list all of the signs you now know and use on this post, but there are so many I can't remember them all!!!  Maybe close or over 100?!  It amazes me what you have learned in such a short time - two different languages, basically (English and signing)!  Soon, we'll have your surgery and then I know there will be no stopping the flow of words that will come from your mouth!  I can't wait!

When we heard your were only eating one bowl of congee and bottles of formula, we considered being cautious in what we might give you to eat, but only for a  second!  You have eaten nearly everything we have given you with reckless abandon!  We were afraid with your open palate, but as long as the food was soft or dissolved quickly, you enjoyed it!  I will note that you are not incredibly fond of water and you HATE lima beans (ask your Papa about the tray of beans that went flying by his head at lunch one day-oh yes!), but you like most everything else.  Sweet potatoes, noodles, crackers, peas, pumpkin pie, juice and milk are your favorites, though I can't really test you on sweets right now until we get some other things straightened out.  We've gotten you some medicine for your tummy, which has helped with some concerns we had and I am certain makes you feel better!  It is a joy to watch you eat and learn to feed yourself!  You do a great job for a first-timer!

Outside is a place that you have learned to enjoy.  The wind, cold and bright sun were hard on you at first, and you were so upset with me for asking you to walk so much and over such uneven terrain on our daily outdoor activities.  At first, smiling and being outside did NOT go together.  God has blessed you with a sister who gives you confidence (and blessed her with a little sister that helps her to be a better leader).  You would watch the fun that she was having, how fast she was going, what she was jumping off of, playing with or touching and you just couldn't let yourself be left out!  I am thankful for your determination and for your courage in conquering so many new things!  You carry a little bucket with chicken or horse feed in it when you "help" me around the farm.  You have no fear of the chickens, and like to go in the pen, feed them little leaves or ferns through the fence and carry the empty waterers that need to be refilled.

You enjoy poking hay through the fence for the horses, hollering to let us all know when you've found an ant pile and dumping the different kinds of horse feeds into the buckets for me.  You count "One, two, three!" before you "run" down any sort of hill/slope in the ground.  Now, when I ask if anyone wants to go outside, you are willing to leave your snack unfinished (can I get a 'hooray!' from all of the other adoptive parents out there?!), amble down the steps and grab your shoes to be put on. 

Sometimes you want my help and other times you DO NOT WANT MAMA'S HELP...  Some days you squeal and laugh as you take my offered hand and other days you look at me as if my hand is covered in some awful disease.  It is a challenge for sure, but whatever you feel, you feel it completely.  The unhappy moments are passing more and more quickly and when you laugh it is the loudest, happiest belly laugh I have ever heard!!!  Your favorite things are eating, your Papa, Charlotte, bathtime, whatever Charlotte likes/is doing, helping/watching the chickens, doing puzzles and playing in your little house. 

Flora Lin, I was so sad inside as I waited to be a mama for so long.  The moment I heard about you, my sadness dissapeared and I was filled with JOY!  Waiting for you taught me so much about myself and about the love God has for me and for you and all of the people of this world.  It stretched my faith and made me grow and change in a way that I could never have done otherwise.

I'm so thankful for you, you little spitfire!  You are often a mirror of my own self, my own heart.  Like the meaning of your Chinese name, Miao Lin, you are wonderful... a pretty piece of jade!  And you are my daughter!  Change only as God directs you to grow, but don't ever try and be anyone other than Florence Joy Miao Lin.  She is perfect just as God made her.

If you'd like to hear Flora Lin's theme song (of sorts), click the link below and it will take you to a video. She's a fighter.  You ARE going to hear her roar in the future!

http://youtu.be/e9SeJIgWRPk

Bragging Rights

I've waited for a long, long time to have children to brag on and this is my blog, so here we go! Consider yourself warned!  : )
Little Miss Flora Lin is a puzzle master!  Since she's been home I've been amazed by her ability and quickness at putting them together.   It gives me a lot of encouragement in the harder times as it shows me there's quite a brain up there!
This morning she put this one together, 95% by herself (I took the G out of the Q spot).

This puzzle has a lot of pieces.   Some will fit in the wrong place, most don't fit perfectly in the right place and they fall out easily.

But she did it!   Quickly and easily!

I asked/signed to her if I could take her picture.   She nodded and posed like this:

And this:

Aaaand this (yes-totally her own doing!):

And a little eye rolling thrown in since she's 2 going on 16:

She did another puzzle soon after and signed for me to take her picture when she finshed:

And then she posed!

And posed again (with her leg up - crazy girl!):

She's something, isn't she? !   Made me proud and made me laugh!   :)