Genetics Clinic

Because of FLs cleft lip and palate, birthmarks and some other factors, our pediatrician gave us a referral to a Genetics Clinic.  FL has already had a CGH panel run, which came out showing no abnormalities.  So, Genetics Clinic (provided by a state run program) was a "just to be sure" precaution.  I am also wishing that we had done the same for C, as I have so many new questions and concerns that have come up with hr possible CP, but she presents herself so normally and is quite brilliant (FL is, too - and though I am biased, I believe it is true!) that most every medical professional has laughed off my concerns.

The day started off rough, as Sam was leaving town for an extended period.  We were all a little blue, especially me!  The girls are pros at waiting for appointments now, so I usually don't worry too much about them!

The Genetics Clinic is put on by Children's Rehabilitation Services of Alabama through the state.  They have many other programs, and after meeting with a social worker, I found out that we qualify for the sliding scale of payment based on our income!  Also, there is never a copay.  The clinic was clean, efficiently run and the members of the team were kind and knowledgeable.  We met with a nutritionist (who absolutely fell in love with the girls - she spent a lot of time with us!) who took FLs measurements (she is on all American growth charts now and in many areas normal- yay!) and asked about her diet and eating habits.  She was very willing to answer some additional concerns I had about C and give me guidance in other areas of the girls' health journey.

The geneticist was kind and did a good exam of FL and looked at the different areas of concerns.  Even with those differences and her cleft lip and palate, he felt that she was just fine and needed no further testing.  He based this on his exam, my strong feelings that she is doing extremely well, cognitively and her CGH panel that showed no abnormalities.  He felt that if she had some sort of genetic issues, they would be showing up cognitively and all of her differences were "common" differences.  He said to watch her as she grows and develops cognitively.  He said, "the child will tell you!" In his thick Latin American accent.  : )

After seeing the doctor, we saw a social worker who explained more about the state's Cleft Lip and Palate Clinic.  Unfortunately, we would have to stop seeing our current craniofacial surgeon/team at Children's Hospital.  I have been advised by knowledgeable sources not to let the state team operate on my child, so this is not going to be an option for us, though it would greatly lessen our future medical bills.  FL is worth it and more!  We want her to have the best we can give.

Other than a double meltdown in the social worker's office and later in the restroom (I confess, it became a triple meltdown once we got into the hot car!) we had a great visit and I am going to look into further resources for both of my girls through the state, in addition to the private resources we are using for therapy and medical care.

If you have a child with CL/CP, please look into your state resources.  It may be well worth it!  If you have a child in need of therapy, please look into it as well.  Once our summer travels are over, I plan to really push to get the girls more help.  It is a joy, honor and privilege to have these precious girls to fight for, even if there are a few meltdowns along the way!

Dentist

Since our last dental debacle, we have been searching through different options of dental care in our area.   There are many wonderful places outside of our city, but we really wanted to stay as local as possible.  I called several different places and finally re-called one office, made an appointment for one daughter, then asked about what could be done for my other child.   People are much more open to working with you when you are an investment! ; )

These were the cutest little child sized benches in the waiting area!

Charlotte was so, so, so happy to finally have her turn with the dentist.  Sam and I were allowed to go back, but it is not something they want to continue.  We'll see. ; )

In the picture above, I am asking C what a dentist looks like.  I asked FL in the picture below.  The mother and son behind them were very amused by our girls.

Here, the girls are both doing dental work on their stuffed animals...

Overall the visit went well.  C was nervous, but let them do everything they needed to do.  She has some spots on her teeth that might be stains, but we are going to watch and brush the heck out of them in the meantime.  I do give the girls gummy omega 3 vitamins (good for brain/emotional health for kiddos that haven't had optimal nutrition), and gummies are the worst.  I hate to sub the drops for this because they love their vitamins so much that they FREAK OUT if we miss them.   C even makes sure I take my vitamins and give the dog her medicine, etc......   They don't forget!

The dentist reviewed FLs X-rays and examined her teeth.  The plan is basically the same as the other dentist, but they are going to leave FLs front tooth alone at this point and not do anything reconstructive, which is fine.   She will have everything done at one of the local hospitals at one time.  I hate to put her under twice in one year, but it has to be done.  Unfortunately, the wait is long and it will not take place until the end of September.  She's started complaining of pain off and on again (She never tells me, I usually figure out that is what is bothering her), so I may see if they have a wait list to move it up.  I'm glad it's scheduled, though!

They asked me if we flossed the girls teeth.  I told them I was doing good to keep the girls clean, clothed and fed.  Surely I'm not the only parent that doesn't floss their preschoolers' teeth regularly?!  Or never?!!!

The best part was that C got her much coveted little plastic bag!  She's been weeping over not having one like "Fo'a Yin" any time she gets a little tired or cranky.  ; ).  All is right with the world now.  : )

But, good night, I don't have time to floss their teeth!  I barely get to bush my own twice a day!

My Little Spicy Sunshine...

Is one determined kiddo!  We had a major, major accomplishment today!

She drank every last bit of her milk out of this cup through a straw!!!   That's big for 3 month post op palate repair!

She worked sooooooo hard using all of the skills and prompts we've been working on.  At first, I helped.  Then, she wanted to do it all by herself.   It wasn't easy for her, but she NEVER gave up and was so proud of her accomplishment!   She smiled so sweetly whe she finshed and we were cheering for her.  She said and signed, "Drink like Charlotte!  Like Charlotte!"   

We're so proud of you and your hard work, Flora Lin!   I love that you are so determined and so sweet!  Way to go, big girl!  : )

Post Op Palate Surgery at Home

THe days following surgery were not and are not always easy, but I hope by trying to type out the (sometimes fuzzy) details of the last week or so will help families and their little ones in the future.  Our journey wasn't and isn't perfect, so this is by no means a guide book of what you should or shouldn't do.  We're just one little family making our way through life together and sharing our experience.

Day 2

Our first full day at home was a good one.  FL's pain was under control and she slept fairly well.  She was running a small fever in the hospital, but that seems to have subsided.  She was calm and willing to eat most anything that she was allowed to eat.  Food is sticking to her mouth and to the surgical sites, but other cleft moms have assured me that this is normal.  Some moms clean the palate off and some don't.  

I was very thankful for putting a beach towel over her sheets and two pillowcases on her pillow.  The amount of blood and discharge from her nose is unreal!  The towel soaks it up well so that she isn't in a wet bed and I think we'll still be able to use the pillow when all of this is over.  FL's breathing when asleep sounds really scary.  She sounds like a big, old man with a cold the way she snores!  Part of this is because she is still trying to breathe through her open palate that is no longer open.  She wakes herself up often when her body is fighting the new way of getting air.  Unfortunately, she's not getting good sleep because of this and because we wake her every four hours to give her medicine.

She's drooling heavily and as neat and clean as she is, she is letting it fall from her mouth when she's awake.  Normally this would really bother her, but she's relearning how to swallow and I'm sure it is painful and swollen.

Her runny nose is bothering her when awake, but she hates to stop play and come to me from a nose wipe or pick up a wipe herself and do it.  She is rubbing her bloody nose on her sleeve.  To make her (and me!) feel better about that, I made "Magic Sleeves."  I cut off the foot part of some old socks and left the ankle and cuff part.  The cuff/ankle covers FL from the wrist to almost the elbow, giving her plenty of "wiping room."  : )  This way I don't have to worry about stains and she doesn't have to stop playing and wipe her nose.  C was a little envious, so I made her some, too.  They'll be great for the next cold season!

You can see a little blood on FL's Magic Sleeves.  Don't ask me what C was trying to do in the picture! I have no idea!

I'm still wearing dark clothing as well.  This way I don't have to worry what she gets on me.

Day 3

Another pretty good day!  We played outside and enjoyed catching up on our rest.  FL is doing well, painwise and we are tearing up prunes very finely to help with constipation.  The blood and drool are still coming steadily and heavily.  Her breathing at night is still loud and seemingly labored.  She is not sleeping on her back at all (this is how she falls asleep and usually stays asleep most of the night).  I think it helps her to sleep on her tummy and let the fluids drain by force of gravity.  When we wake her at night to give her pain meds she seems to be in a deep sleep.  I HATE waking her!!!  She gets a little upset and I know she's tired.  Thankfully, she settles back down quickly and comfortably and doesn't wake C.

She still prefers me to do most of the care, and not her usual favorite, Sam.  She is a little edgy (understandable) and does NOT want any affection from C (they hug and kiss all of the time) and is showing a little animosity towards her.  C is confused and wants to comfort her and play with her.  I mentioned to FL that C loved her VERY much and FL made a huge angry sweeping/knock your block off motion with her arm.  She usually only does that when she is very mad at Sam or myself and in the middle of a temper tantrum.  I know she's feeling badly and is trying to hold it in.

We had to stop all sippy cups and bottles today.  I was sqeezing the bottle for FL, but it was just too hard for her to lay back and milk was going everywhere.  Her normal sippy cup that she can just dump in water into her mouth easily is too much for her.  We are giving her liquids by 10 cc syringe exclusively.  I am thankful that I asked the nurses at the hospital for the syringes and managed to keep one or two that we used for medicine!  The prunes, however finely shredded, where a bad idea.  we think a tiny bit made its way through the break in the gumline and into her nose.  I'm so sorry Flora Lin! : (  She's still on ibuprofen every four hours (per discharge instructions) and I know that's hard on her little tummy, so that's why we were giving her the prunes (she also had trouble in the hospital with constipation that required intervention, if you know what I mean...).  No more prunes.  She's also showing more sensitivity to foods, so we are sticking with yogurt and the wonderful purees that our friends made for us (thank you!).  If you have a child preparing for this surgery, MAKE FOOD FOR THEM AND YOURSELF AHEAD OF TIME or have someone do it for you.  Our goal is to give her filling, fatty foods, some with high nutrition and high in protein that she will be willing to eat.  We don't want her to lose weight or let the progress we've made in better health backslide.  She's taking a liquid immunity supplement instead of her chewable multivitamin and omega 3s.  It's not the best choice, but an easy one to carry out.

Day 4

Flora Lin is DONE.  She is done with her mouth feeling different.  She is done with not being able to sleep well.  She is done with feeling pain.  She is done being patient.  She is done with her tummy hurting.  She is done with having to think of how to breathe.  She is done being handfed every. little. thing.  SHE IS DONE.   And she let us know that today with her emotions.  I know that feeling and I hate it for her.  We are being patient with her and trying to help C be patient with her.  C is done with FL getting special food and special treatment and having to share/give up her time with her mama.  It is hard to balance both of their needs, but I have to lean towards what FL needs most at this time.  It hurts C's feelings so badly and that makes it even harder.

FL got an early nap today, but not by choice!  She was outside playing with C and I.   She kept saying she was done and wanted to go inside and help Papa with lunch.  As soon as we got close to the door she would sign "play" and "more."  When we went to do that, she would change her mind again!  I finally just gave her to Sam and she screamed with him on the couch for two minutes and promptly fell asleep.  Morning snack was the first time she has ever pushed away food, so we decided for just this once, sleep was more important than waking her to eat when she hurts.  Poor girl.

Day 5

Sam is back at work and I have decided it is best just to jump back into our routine and give FL the structure that makes her feel safe.  It was a pretty good day, except FL had a morning meltdown at snack time again.  I decided a short morning nap would be best for everyone, as I know she's not sleeping.  We got her up for lunch and then back down for a normal naptime at 1.  We didn't get much done today, as I am feeling a little run down, but we all just needed rest and routine.  Did I mention there's a time change, too?!

The bloody discharge has FINALLY stopped.  Her nose is still runny and there is some drool, but it is so much better.  I washed her bedding today and it was amazing the amount of "stuff" that was on it.  I strongly encourage you to put anything away that you don't want stained (though it all came out fine in the wash) and put down something soft and absorbent for your child to sleep on.  I'm still wearing dark clothes with no zippers and no necklaces so that FL can comfortably sleep and drool on me.  : )

And there are tissues and nose rags in every area of my house and in every pocket available! : )

A fellow cleft mom suggested "boogie wipes" to me and they have been the most effective in wiping painlessly and keeping FL clean.  Baby washcloths would be a runner up with the thick towelettes the hospital gave us at a distant third.  There are many other random napkins and rags that we use and if is the closest, cleanest thing available, we use it!!! : )

Day 6

Very little discharge from the nose (none of it bloody) and her breathing at night has really improved.  She still snores, but I can't hear it unless I am in her room or in the hallway.  Before, I could hear it across the house in my bedroom!

Again, I am thankful for the meals prepared and the special food that were pureed and put together in small containers for my daughter.  I'm not sure I would be getting much of anything done if I was having to specially make food and come up with new recipies everyday!!!

A small morning nap was called for again, today.  FL is just so tired with all of the broken sleep she has been getting, she's not well rested.

Day 7

I panicked!  FL was really seeming painful at morning snack, so I decided to take a good look in her mouth.  I had mashed and added water to a banana to make it very soft, so I was surprised by her reaction.  I noticed a lot of the banana stuck to the place where the packing in her mouth was, so I squirted a little water on it with the syringe.  There was nothing there but a long hole!   If you know anything about palate surgery, hole and fistula are two words that you NEVER want to associate with your child's surgery!  I called friends, posted on line and called the surgeon's office.  The nurse assured me that it was ok, but the new tissue started to grow from the area that they took from to make the palate.  The new tissue growth causes the packing to fall out.  I had NO IDEA they took that much tissue from the two sides of her mouth to make a new palate.  I remembered other parents talking about the space that was left once the packing came out, but I was really unprepared for what I saw.  Apparently, it's normal!  This day also began "The Change" that everyone talks about in recovery time from this surgery.  FL truthfully had done very well, and her upsets and pain had been quite manageable, but a different child came out this day.  She was fussy, touchy and just not happy.  They think this is from regrowth of the nerves (can you imagine the pain?!  my mouth hurts after eating chips!) in the place where the tissue was removed.  Poor girl.  So FL had had enough.  C was emotionally upset from my panic, afraid FL was going to have to go back to the hospital (she is such a sensitive child!)) and having a breakdown.  I was tired and just tired.  So Sam came home to three girls that had each had enough!

Day 8

Still fussy, no discharge.  FL became increasingly upset and not finishing her meals/snacks (so not like her!).  Sam came home a little early from work.  At afternoon snack, FL couldn't handle applesauce and was covering her face with her hands and asking for hugs.  She hurt.  I looked into her mouth to see if I could notice anything wrong, not that I would know what wrong or right would look like!  I saw a long string hanging down.  It was part of the stiches in the donor area of her mouth!  I called a friend in desperation and she told me this was normal and I could cut the string.  FL was pulling on the string as she was chewing and tugging on her mouth with each movement of her tongue!  Poor girl! It was over an inch and a half long!  She still chose not to finish her snack (I couldn't blame her), but ate well at dinner time.

Day 9

FL is still in a more fussy/difficult stage (again, understandable), so Sam stayed home today as he was feeling a little under the weather and also wanted to be able to assist me here and there.  I can tell when FL's pain medicine starts to wain.  She gets fussy and wants to be held during activities that she would normally enjoy.  She was in a lot of pain at breakfast, so we examined her mouth again and saw more of the same string hanging down!  She's been great at letting me cut it (we reassure her that it won't hurt) and I know it must be a little scary to have a pair of scissors in your mouth!

She's still snoring and having broken sleep.  The discharge is all but gone, but she is having a little bit of food come out of her nose here and there.  Not much, though.

Day 10

FL is still so tired in the mornings.  She easily loses interest in eating and is having a hard time finishing her morning snack, eventhough it is puréed.  She usually melts down at the end of morning snack, so she gets a morning nap.  Pain seems to be a little bit more under control today.  I'm thankful for that.  I'm hoping we're on the upswing! 

Day 11

Today was a better day.   I can still tell when her ibuprofen is starting to wear off, and we had a BIG evening meltdown , but other than that, we're good!

Day 12

Today went so well that I am thinking of tapering her meds.  We'll stick with it a little longer because we have a happy, silly girl that's gobbling down her food again! : )  The snoring has stopped!  I know C is happy, as they share a room! ; )

The Smell

People often talk about the smell that comes from their child's mouth after a palate repair...  and everything they say is true!  The smells change and sometimes it would fill up the whole room!

for us, the smells are as follows:

Day 1 - dirty socks (I can handle this!)

Day 2 - dirty socks dipped in vinegar (still handling this!)

Day 3 - dirty socks dipped in vinegar and rubbed with dead fish (ok...  I'm ok.)

Day 4 - a cow pattie in the southern humidity in the middle of August (ugh...  but I think I'm ok... maybe)

Day 5 - One thousand fresh cow patties in the southern heat and humidity of August (gag!)

Day 6 -  No words! (someone once described it as death warmed in a microwave...)

Day 7 - Mothballs in granny's closet.  Wet, moldy mothballs (packing fell out causing a smell change - I can take mothballs over cow patties, though)

Day 8 - Mothballs in granny's closet with a dead rat (just breathe! Or not!)

Day 9 - Sam's home!  Love on your daughter please!

Day 10 - Mothballs and poop ( ok, maybe this is improvement...)

Day 11 - Poop

Day 12 - I'm either getting used to it, or it's getting less and less noticeable! Yay!

Things I'm Glad I Did Post Op

- Put a thick towel and extra pillowcase on FL's crib and change out the blankets

- Wore dark, comfortable clothing the first few days home

- Had NOTHING planned the first few days and week home

- Had my husband with us Wednesday through Sunday.  We all needed to be together!

- Had meals prepared by friends and family when we arrived home and throughout the week

- Had friends and family willing to go pick up groceries and extra medicine

- Had someone in place to feed the animals the first day home

- Took time to rest the first few days home

- Had new, quiet activities that would hold the girls' interests (thanks to C's birthday!).   We all needed a break.

- Had a "Been There, Done That" mom to reach out to!

Things I Wish I'd Done Post Op

- Have my pantry stocked before I left for surgery

- Have the house clean before I left for surgery 

- Have rested up well before surgery

- Have post op questions written down and answered before surgery (what to expect after, what problems to look for, when to expect stiches to dissolve and packing to come out, etc.).

- Have plenty of extra bottles of Tylenol and Ibuprofen on hand.

- Have a puréed form of prunes, etc. on hand for those types of situations.

Random Notes

- We were only told to give ibuprofen after surgery every four hours for four days, then cut back

- When I called about the possible fistula on day 7, the nurse I spoke with contradicted our discharge instructions and told us to give medicine every 3 hours, alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen.   I don't think Tylenol helps much with FLs pain.

- We were not offered "no nos" for FL's arms.  I have no idea why, but we also haven't really needed them.

- FL sleeps with socks on her hands at night for different reasons, but this gave me peace about not having "no nos." She can't stick her fingers in her mouth while she's asleep with socks on.  Something to think about as I caught her putting her fingers in her mouth once or twice over the past few days.

- Take time to take care of yourself and set up some margin in your days.   Even when things go as well as ours did it is still tiring.  Especially when you are getting up twice each night to administer medicine!

This is really all I can think of for now.  Hope it helps! 

Flora Lin - The First Month Home

I wrote this close to the date of 12/20, the first month home.  I am just now getting around to posting this, even though we are getting close to the two month mark of being home.  

This is written for my daughter, Flora Lin, on our family blog of memories.

   

Dear Flora Lin,

   To tell you about this first month, I need to share a story of my own.

   I was riding a horse once that was a little cantankerous at times.  Before I could end our ride on a good note, he quickly reared up, which unseated me, and then bucked immediately!  I almost recovered my seat, but the buck took care of the rest of it, and I went sailing over his head.  As I was sailing over his head, seething that he "got me," I found that I STILL had the reins in my hands!!!  I was still in the game, hanging on!  I wasn't giving up this easy!  As I made impact with the ground, I was probably even smiling a little...  I still had the last word and I wasn't letting go!   : )  

  This story may be about me, but dear daughter, it describes a part of your personality, too!  Flora Lin, we are so alike, you could not be MORE my daughter if you had been born of my own body!  I had to tell this story becuase it reminds me so much of the fire I see in you!  Your life has put so many things in your path that would have ordinarily given evil the last word, but you are a fighter and determined to make it and make it with a smile on your face!  When I finally heard the Katy Perry song, "Roar" (it was no longer cool by the time I heard it, to be honest, and I am no Katy Perry fan), you were what I first thought of.  I am also probably the only person who cries happy tears when they hear that song!  You won't let the hard things pull you down.  Sure, they've hurt you and you have some walls up still, but your sweet and spicy personaility is showing out more and more every day!  When I first met you, you were pale, head covered in the worst cradle cap I had seen, with calloused hands and feet that no baby should have.  When I put my arms around you for the first time I felt such an awful rattle in your chest from an illness that the orphanage worker would never have mentioned to me had I not asked.  It was brushed off as "a little cough," and I almost came unglued right then and there when I was told that.  It was so hard to see such a beautiful little flower like you covered up with so much neglect.  

Someone at your orphanage loved you, that is certain.  You bear the signs of that.  No one loved YOU completely enough, though...  Sure, you needed lotion rubbed on your little body after each bath, someone to teach you to brush your teeth, medicine for your scalp and antibiotics for your illness, but we all need so much more than that to thrive.  Flora Lin, your Papa and I love you more than you will ever know.  We did everything we could to have you as our daughter, but even all of that love will not be enough.  I hope one day you will know God's love for you.  Right now, you sweetly sign "Jesus" with your baby soft hands that have been rubbed with lotion daily.  Even today, you wanted to look at the "Jesus Book," (that's how you sign it) instead of playing.  I hope your faith will continue to grow and that little hole that we all have will finally be filled with His love.

Your little body has changed so much.  You came to us in complete shock.  You were pale and unsteady and so slow to move or respond.  Your gaze stayed down and purple circles hung under your eyes.  Though you were not "skinny" you had so little muscle tone.  Your hair was dull and rough.  So rough and dry that it broke off when I brushed it.  Your head hung down no matter what you did.  Had it not been for your sister's presence and happy disposition, I am sure you would have been so terrified of us that you would have only screamed or slept.  

But sweetheart, that's NOT who you are!  It is not who you ever were!

Now the rattle in your chest is only a story I tell, your little hands and feet are soft and clean, your eyes are bright and clear and sparkling!  Your hair is beginning to soften and shine and hold a bow (which makes you SO happy!), your skin is the prettiest color and you can climb and run and jump and give your sister a good whack in the head with a toy when she bosses you! ; )  You help care for the farm every day, and though you get so mad at me for "encouraging" you to walk through tall grass, toddle over lumpy ground, carry a bitty bucket of horse feed and climb climb CLIMB steps here and there and everywhere, YOU CAN DO IT!  God knew what He was doing when He brought us together as mother and daughter as we are both made of FIRE and we each push the other to be better.  You have changed me as a person and a mom for the better.  I thank God for you and for that!

Speaking of change, I have seen so many examples of that over the past month.  You came to us only making little peeps and grunts, which we expected with an open palate.  You came to us only eating one bowl of congee and five bottles of formula a day.  You came to us only having lived your life in one building, a few rooms and a little outdoor play area.  

Flora Lin, you are singing and signing and speaking english!  Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, The Clean Up Song and Jingle Bells are your favorite songs to sing.  You are trying to learn Itsy Bitsy Spider and Jesus Loves Me right now.  At first, when we signed and asked you to sign, I think you thought we were just trying to make you dance the Macarena for food, and you'd do whatever, but now you UNDERSTAND and sign back unprompted!  Your first understood signs were "more," "eat" and "cat."  Your first words were "eat" and "cat" and "uh-oh!"  You are now wanting to talk instead of sign, though you sign, really, really well!  I originally wanted to list all of the signs you now know and use on this post, but there are so many I can't remember them all!!!  Maybe close or over 100?!  It amazes me what you have learned in such a short time - two different languages, basically (English and signing)!  Soon, we'll have your surgery and then I know there will be no stopping the flow of words that will come from your mouth!  I can't wait!

When we heard your were only eating one bowl of congee and bottles of formula, we considered being cautious in what we might give you to eat, but only for a  second!  You have eaten nearly everything we have given you with reckless abandon!  We were afraid with your open palate, but as long as the food was soft or dissolved quickly, you enjoyed it!  I will note that you are not incredibly fond of water and you HATE lima beans (ask your Papa about the tray of beans that went flying by his head at lunch one day-oh yes!), but you like most everything else.  Sweet potatoes, noodles, crackers, peas, pumpkin pie, juice and milk are your favorites, though I can't really test you on sweets right now until we get some other things straightened out.  We've gotten you some medicine for your tummy, which has helped with some concerns we had and I am certain makes you feel better!  It is a joy to watch you eat and learn to feed yourself!  You do a great job for a first-timer!

Outside is a place that you have learned to enjoy.  The wind, cold and bright sun were hard on you at first, and you were so upset with me for asking you to walk so much and over such uneven terrain on our daily outdoor activities.  At first, smiling and being outside did NOT go together.  God has blessed you with a sister who gives you confidence (and blessed her with a little sister that helps her to be a better leader).  You would watch the fun that she was having, how fast she was going, what she was jumping off of, playing with or touching and you just couldn't let yourself be left out!  I am thankful for your determination and for your courage in conquering so many new things!  You carry a little bucket with chicken or horse feed in it when you "help" me around the farm.  You have no fear of the chickens, and like to go in the pen, feed them little leaves or ferns through the fence and carry the empty waterers that need to be refilled.

You enjoy poking hay through the fence for the horses, hollering to let us all know when you've found an ant pile and dumping the different kinds of horse feeds into the buckets for me.  You count "One, two, three!" before you "run" down any sort of hill/slope in the ground.  Now, when I ask if anyone wants to go outside, you are willing to leave your snack unfinished (can I get a 'hooray!' from all of the other adoptive parents out there?!), amble down the steps and grab your shoes to be put on. 

Sometimes you want my help and other times you DO NOT WANT MAMA'S HELP...  Some days you squeal and laugh as you take my offered hand and other days you look at me as if my hand is covered in some awful disease.  It is a challenge for sure, but whatever you feel, you feel it completely.  The unhappy moments are passing more and more quickly and when you laugh it is the loudest, happiest belly laugh I have ever heard!!!  Your favorite things are eating, your Papa, Charlotte, bathtime, whatever Charlotte likes/is doing, helping/watching the chickens, doing puzzles and playing in your little house. 

Flora Lin, I was so sad inside as I waited to be a mama for so long.  The moment I heard about you, my sadness dissapeared and I was filled with JOY!  Waiting for you taught me so much about myself and about the love God has for me and for you and all of the people of this world.  It stretched my faith and made me grow and change in a way that I could never have done otherwise.

I'm so thankful for you, you little spitfire!  You are often a mirror of my own self, my own heart.  Like the meaning of your Chinese name, Miao Lin, you are wonderful... a pretty piece of jade!  And you are my daughter!  Change only as God directs you to grow, but don't ever try and be anyone other than Florence Joy Miao Lin.  She is perfect just as God made her.

If you'd like to hear Flora Lin's theme song (of sorts), click the link below and it will take you to a video. She's a fighter.  You ARE going to hear her roar in the future!

http://youtu.be/e9SeJIgWRPk