Just Because...

She is growing and changing way too fast...

And there's so, so much I want to remember and capture and keep and hold on to...  

And because I know I can't keep her little, though she says that's what she wants.

And I want to remember that every time I say, "You're growing up so fast!" She says, "No, Mama!  Shaw-yotte stay yiddle fo'ebah.  Mama can wock an' cah-wee Shaw-yotte fo'ebah and ebah."

And even though she promises me these things, she also tells me that she and Flora Lin will take me to the grocery store when I am old in their matching red cars.  

And that they will both be leg doctors together.

And that they will live at home with Mama and Papa in "'dis house."

And that she tells me Flora Lin will have spikey hair.  In rainbow colors.  That I painted... (And that I actually believe that might happen!). And her hair will be brown and she will have it down (which I also believe!).

And that she used to say "sehben, elehben and sehbenteee" instead of seven, eleven and seventeen.

And she used to call her sister "Fo'Yin" instead of the newer "Fo'la Lin."  

And that she regularly translates for her sister when we just can't understand.  And they have these hilarious conversations while they both sit on the potty and I have no idea  what they are saying, but they can't stop laughing.

And when I tell her she can take a break from therapy for her left hand, she says, "No, fank you, Mama.   I want it get stwongah and stwongah.  I do it."

And as she rocks her Dolly she tells me, "Shaw-yotte is Mama.  Dah-yee is Baby Shaw-yotte."  And she repeats all the things I say to her to try to comfort her, convince her that I will never leave her and how wonderful and precious she is to me.  And then she turns to me and says, "I a good mama for babies, Mama?"

And when I carry her, she twists her little fingers into my ponytail for comfort.

And that every now and then, she tucks her little arms under mine and wraps herself around me and says, "Hug me tight, tight, Mama!"

And that every new step she takes and every time she grows, she is all the more precious to me.  

And that she always will be.

And I'll tell you every night for as long as you let me tuck you in:

Happy or sad, glad or mad, I will always love you.

Whether you make good choices or bad, I will still love you.

Kind or mean, I will still love you.

Even if you run far, far, far away, I will still love you.

There's nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you.

Love you, Pie-Pie.  Love you just for being you.