Day 18 (Trip to Park, Free Day)

We had nothing scheduled for today except a little sightseeing, which we were glad of, as we felt that too much "here and there" leaves FL very overstimulated to the point were she shuts down and then falls apart later once she feels safe again.  We thought that the gardens would be a nice, peaceful place for our family to enjoy without overstimulating FL, but when we got there we saw this:

 

A garden on steroids.

Yes, that is the Beatles right there... not exactly the quiet, peaceful walk through a botanical garden I envisioned, but we thought we'd give it a try.  C was alllll about the bright colors and sounds and couldn't get enought of these big statue things that were covered in silk and gold trim.

Ergo Up!  It is so much easier to carry the girls around in these, and makes for good bonding time.  This was Sam's first time using the Ergo, as C was attached to me first (I am also back in first place with her again after a short run by Sam).  C is always happy to get in it and happy to get out of it (we usually both are : ) ) and FL did just fine in the carrier, though it is hard to tell what she thought.

You'll also notice that C has new shoes (we couldn't find any we liked in FL's size) which is good because the slippers are not waterproof, and C is a girl on the go, where as FL is not quite running yet.

The gardens had some really pretty views:

 

It was not as big as I thought, and if I had known, I would have taken my time and explored a little bit more.  This was a place where I would not have minded if the guide had left us and given us a time period to be done.  She stayed, and that was fine, but I'll take the time to mention something here that has been really bothering me.  The only way I have been able to handle it is to just let it go (please, no singing).  

Our guide is organized, smart, on top of the paperwork and VERY familiar with the process.  She will tell you what she thinks, but is also very willing to help.  I am glad she is our guide, BUT she is VERY, VERY partial to one of my daughters.  In a way, I understand it.  This daughter is very smart, charming, happy and social.  Most children that are adopted that our guide sees probably aren't usually this happy go lucky (she really is - it's crazy!) and well-adjusted at this stage, but our daughter is.  To top it off, in this country, everything about her is considered exteremly beautiful: lighter hair, "perfect" shaped mouth (apparently people get plastic surgery to make their mouth like hers), big eyes, lighter skin heart-shaped face and she is an extrovert that LOVES attention.  I haven't seen an unattractive child on our entire trip and though I think both my daughters are very beautiful, but I had NO IDEA that this daughter is what she apparently is here.  We first noticed it in her province when people were stopping and taking pictures with her, stopping and telling us how beautiful she was, kissing her (yes, while she was in the ergo attached to me) and staring more than the normal stare (y'all who've been here know what I'm talking about).  My other daughter is beautiful, but she has some things that are different about her physically.  Also, she has several layers of hurt that are built up that prevent us from seeing her wonderful personality in the fullest.  One of my daughters is so easy to love.  You can't NOT love her (ok, sometimes her drama over a piece of lint on her stockings is a little much).  My other daughter struggles to eat, sleep, communicate and cope.  She moves, talks and acts unnaturally sometimes.  She shuts down.  

Our guide almost ignores one daughter and lavishes attention of the other, even giving her treats and taking her from me and walking with her at times.  She talks nonstop about how beautiful, smart and happy she is.  My other daughter gets a smile from her now and then, but nothing else. 

Our guide is not a bad person.  She's human and responding to a cute, loving little girl when most of the children she sees don't even respond  to her.  There's a reason I am telling you this.   I struggle with it too sometimes and if you are going to be around our family, you might, as well.  Prepare yourself.  

Both of our daughters need so much love.  BOTH of them.  The hardest things about getting two together   (though I am certain it was the right thing for us) is dividing my time and attention.  One reaches for my hand constantly, sings with me, calls me Mama, enjoys pretty things, the other sturggles to balance when walking, is afraid to sleep, has more difficulty eating, swats at me and makes peeps most of the time to communicate or yells.  I can also see the good things in her though.   She shares well, she likes to hold her sister's hand, she enjoys being dressed and wearing a bow in her hair, she wants to be held, though it is hard for her.  She smiles at you and looks for your smile, she can be silly, she wants to sing, she's GREAT at signing, she can take her dolly and make it clap and dance, she gives kisses, and, like me, she really likes food. : )  Both of my daughters compete for attention a little bit.  It's normal and ok.  But, please, don't fall so hard for one that you make the big mistake of missing out on getting to know the other.  They're both really fantastic and I can't believe the blessings I have gotten in having these two girls as my daughters.  God made them each so perfectly and they've taught me so much over the past two years already and teach me something new everyday.  I can't wait for you to meet them!

And no, those are not capris - we forgot to pull her pant legs down for the pictures - you have to move FAST when photographing these girls!

Things I'm Glad I Brought:

* I Pad for pictures 

* Water

* Sanitizing wipes (y'all, a public restroom is a public restroom, but this is a time when you have to do more than just put tissue paper on the seat... and there is no tissue paper)

* Baby wipes - no tissue paper in the restroom

* Baby carriers 

Things I Wish I'd Brought:

* Sunglasses for myself and the girls - it was so nice to see the sun!

* A better knowledge for the garden and how it was laid out.  I would have enjoyed exploring it more and staying a little longer than we did

* It started to get very crowded, as we went on a Sunday.  A weekday may have been better for children who become overstimulated.  Come as early in the AM as you can.

Prayers/Praises:

* The girls' illnesses are much better- no more coughing spells

* Our families from our travel group made it home safe (one is still traveling for pleasure)!  Yay!

* FL is NOT sleeping through the night, or at naptime.  So, we aren't either (except C - she's sleeping great and waking up happy).

* FL will not sleep in the crib or in the bed.  That leaves the floor and this won't work at home, plus, the floor is no place for a little girl (or her aching, old parents). 

* FL has had many big tantrums, but they are getting shorter and less physical as of today.

* Please pray for our girls as we prepare and travel to Hong Kong in a few days and travel home.  This big change will be very stressful on both of them, as we can't make them understand what is happening or what home is.

* FL is great at signing - I think she's starting to make the connections as a language as well! : )

Thanks for reading!  We're a day closer to home!